Peejay's Ponderings

Moving

Ok, I've finally set up a new, free blog but forgot to mention it here I've been reminded LOL.

The address is http://peejaysponderings.wordpress.com

I will be leaving this one as is for a few months because I'm sure that's how long it will take me to 'slurp' the whole thing into a Blurb book.

Cheers

Pam

The lead up...

...to 2008

I don't use all the features on this blog that I pay for so am thinking I might transfer to a freebie blog and save myself some $$$.

So, for that reason, I'll sort out up to now and then I can have the content published in a blurb book to cover 2006 and 2007   - like a journal and then start afresh and have all of 2008 in the same place.

Let me see, it's been awhile since I last posted so this might be rather lengthy.   

Around the time of my last post, I was having some difficulty living with my decision to keep seeing Alex despite his promises that he wanted to move forward with me and was going to sort things out with his wife.  While everyone kept telling me I didn't create the situation and wasn't at fault, I found that by ignoring my own principles and being involved in a lie (until he had told his wife) made me feel very negative toward myself...and it showed in my mood and behaviour.  I was not nice to be around anymore and even I wanted to get away from me.   I took stock of the situation and made some decisions that have empowered me to move on one way or the other.   In the next couple of weeks, I will know what path I am to take and that (as heartbreaking as it may be) is a huge positive.

On to other things.

Sad - A couple of weeks before Christmas, we found our cat Crookshanks under the house crying.  he'd been missing for a couple of days and the kids heard him.    I met them at the vets and he was in a bad way.   Unfortunately, whilst the vet worked really hard, he died with us.  It was very sad.

Turns out it was a blocked bladder which is very common in cats who are fed dry food.  I thought it was better to feed them dry as long as they had plenty of water but it seems that it has to be the vet stuff and not supermarket stuff as it's bad for them.  We brought him home and buried him and said a prayer.    The other cats really miss him...as do we, he was a real smoocher.

A week later, we received a card from the vet in sympathy for Crooky and hoping we were coping OK.  It was lovely.  Although Courtney opened it and started bawling.

The next weekend, that really windy Saturday saw my shed relocated half way up the backyard on it's roof.   It was too windy to move it anywhere so it was tethered and kept getting battered by the wind.  It's gone to shed heaven now but the stuff it was protecting is now exposed on a lovely concrete slab.

Then, the Saturday after Christmas, I visited the girls at the RW Barn and, after a lovely night, was driving Wendy home along a dark country road when we saw two possums sitting in the middle of the road.  It was too late to do anything and a car was coming the other way and I hit them both.  I felt sick.  I pulled up and then did a U turn to go back.   Wendy wasn't real keen on the idea but I couldn't just leave them there.   When I got back, one of them was definitely dead so I moved him to the side of the road.  The other one was injured but conscious so I wrapped her in a blanket to take her to someone who could help.   

To cut a long story short, noone could help until the morning so she stayed with me in the Tower (Alex spent two weeks over Christmas in Singapore and said I could stay at his place with the aircon if I wanted) until I could get her to the Lort Smith Animal Hospital in the morning.   Unfortunately, when I took  her in, the vet examination showed she had spinal injuries and she had to be put down.  I felt awful.

Some people said they wouldn't have stopped but I cannot fathom that kind of thinking.   I don't understand how people could leave an injured animal to die so painfully.  Had I left them where they were hit, some other car/truck would have run over them squashing them on the road.  How awful would that have been especially for the one that was injured.  Poor things.

Things have improved though, I hope I've had my hat trick of horror.

I had a lovely Christmas day spent with family.  The best part was watching my two nephews 3 and 5, enjoying the Christmas spirit and delighting in their presents.

New Years was spent hiding in the airconditioned Tower with Wendy, Pete, Dan, Marc and his mate Ian watching the fireworks.  They were lovely and it was a nice end to the year.

I hope everyone has a great 2008.  I'm certainly looking for some big things to happen this year.

Cheers

 

Same S***, Different City

Don't be shocked, these people exist in your community too.  If you ever have to wait for an ambulance, this will give you a very good idea why.

Fortunately, our CEO isn't from the same mould as their Commissioner.

http://www.myfoxcleveland.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail?contentId=4924778&version=2&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=VSTY&pageId=1.1.1

Still thinking

It's a bit hard to let go of my blog.  I've become rather attached to it so have decided I might hang around for awhile and think abut it some more.

Thought I'd share a little story about the miny prinny Courtney.

If ever there was a princess it is Courtney so it surprises me that she enjoys camping.   Tuesday morning she headed up to Corowa? to camp with some friends from uni and it was stinking hot.  She packed shorts and bathers and not much else.  I told her to take a blanket and some warm clothes but she said it would be hot and chose not too.   Should have listened to her mum.

They spent Tuesday swimming in the river and on a speed boat having a generally lovely time.   Tuesday night though was another matter.  After turning in for the night in their two tents, the weather changed and a storm hit.  A very windy storm.  So windy, in fact that one of the tents blew away down the river and they never found it.  They all crammed into the remaining tent until morning.

Of course, it was windy and raining so they went to one of the girl's homes nearby.  A farm actually.   Her dad needed some help herding the cows and asked the girls for help.   My head snapped to attention when Courtney mentioned this because I know it is not something she would voluntarily be involved in.  Yep, I was right.  The other girls dad saw the disgusted look on her face and said to her "you're a city girl, aren't you?"

Courtney didn't give me much detail about her adventure beyond the description of the wind and freezing temperature and to say that the dogs were going beserk and that cows are "as dumb as dog shit".  She was horrified that she had to herd them down a road from one paddock to the other and that it wasn't an easy task. 

She had the choice to stay an extra day at the farm but, funnily enough, chose to come home instead ROFL.

Other thing that has had my full attention lately is the development of my website for Aduro.   I had no end of problems getting the template and then dealt with the worst web service provider known to man in webcity.com.au       Yep, their prices are cheap, but, in their case, you pay for what you don't get.  Of course, if you count bad service and the rudest, most arrogant customer service manager on the planet, then you get a lot.  Be warned DO NOT USE THEM.

Everything finally got sorted out with another web provider and my website went live today.  I'm liking it.  I like the colour and the slideshows.    Takes awhile to load on slow connections though, but that is the same with any photography site because of the nature of it.

I've still to finish uploading the galleries and tweaking it a bit but I'm pretty happy.

Let me know what you think.  www.adurophotography.com.au

Cheers

Pam

Moving on maybe

I'm thinking that it might be time to ditch the  blog thing.    I've loved doing it for the past 2 or so years but I really don't have any enthusiasm for it anymore so why pay $200+ a year for it?  Stats show that I've had around 12000 hits in 18 months which surprises me a little but I'm sure that's lots and lots of hits from the same people LOL.    That's not why I've kept it up though.  I've enjoyed doing it for me really.

I will have to wait until I work out how to have it published via Blurb before I sign off completely because, in many ways, it has served as a personal journal of where I am in my life.   Recent events have certainly reminded me that all is not as it seems and sometimes we aren't living the truth which has been a bit disoncerting...especially when I read back over my entries.

I may eventually connect a blog to my photography website but  first I will have to wait for the hosting company to actually get my new site up and running and then work out how to add a blog.

No Blog Mojo

I have had lots on my mind recently but no real desire to blog anything.

Thought I'd better not neglect the poor thing anymore though (especially as I'm paying for it) and think of something to say...can't guarantee it will be of any worth however.

Let me see...

It has been almost 3 weeks since my last post...surely I have something of interest to share...thinking...thinking...still thinking...

I know, I broke my toe...today in fact.

Yep, one black and blue little toe on my right foot after accidently kicking the wall.   If I had of got the wall with my whole foot it would have been Ok but as I just caught the edge of it , it bent my little toe right back and I heard the crack and FELT the pain and sooked for awhile.   Unfortunately, none of my shoes fit now because I have a very fat and painful toe so I am forced to don the ugly CROCS that are oh so comfy but oh so NOT pretty.

I also went to the VSK getaway on the weekend and had lots of fun.   Got a bit of scrapping done and lots of chatter.   Even had a go at karaoke which was hilarious although, my poor throat was very sore and my voice croaky the next day.  Sincere apologies to all who endured my not so dulcet tones.

I shared a room with Wendy (who snores btw) and tried to short sheet her bed 3 times.    You'd think it would work at least once but NO.  First time I did it wrong, second time she decided to have an afternoon nap and slipped in under the doona only and noticed the sheet wasn't right when she was straightening it up afterwards. The third time, I'd already gone home and expected to hear all about it but nothing, not a word.  When I asked, she said she had been so tired that by the time she realised she hadn't got under the top sheet (that she insists she MUST have because she can't sleep otherwise) she couldn't be bothered moving so - nothing.  What a waste of my time and effort - no reward at all.

I also discovered that I love the Stampin Up stamps for scrapbooking.  A few girls used them on their LOs or off the page stuff and they are fantastic.  Jude had heaps and they certainly made the rounds.   I'm having a party with Claire in January at the Tower so, if you're on this side of town and available - join in for some stamping with yummy food thrown in.  Not sure of the date yet.

OK, going for the Advil 'cause my toe hurts :(

The scrappers habitat

hilarious.   Very clever dh he is.

The Mum (Mom)

Soovee sent this in an email.   It is hilarious and totally deserving of the standing ovation she received.

For some reason the code won't embed so I've put the link in instead.

[EDIT] My son told me how to embed properly, so thses should all embed fine now [/EDIT]

Moving right along...

...because that's what you have to do.  Life doesn't wait around to let us wallow in blissful happiness or hearbreaking  sorrow, so we get dragged along for awhile and then have to pick ourselves up and move with purpose.

Of course, that doesn't mean life will be a bed of roses as I move forward (well maybe thorny ones) and it doesn't mean I don't fall in a heap from time to time - nothing is that simple - but, with the support of my family and  friends, I have been able to make some decisions that have helped me look forward.

One way forward is to focus on the practicalities.  First of all there is my photography.  Both my course and my business (link in sidebar).   Out of the thousands of people that saw my work at Paperific, I heard one negative comment which didn't relate to the quality of the photographs but that there were images of young children on display in public ( btw, I did get permission to display all the photos).  I'm not sure what this person thought of the hundreds of personal layouts displayed around the place featuring children (even naked ones).   They probably needed their heart pills by the end of it.

Seriously though, I got some wonderful feedback which I hope turns into work.  Just have to wait and see.

Oh, if you're checking out my website, keep in mind it was a bit of a rush  job as we had this wizz bang site organised that did all sorts of cool things but the code didn't agree with my site and it was fraught with problems.  So we went for a very simple approach just to get it up and will work on the rest as we go.

Next thing I'm working on is my back.   I've followed all my doctors instructions and my progress has been soooooo slow.  My mortgage is starting to quiver in it's boots so I NEED to get back to work soon.  I've decided to start looking at some alternative therapies in the hope  of managing it better and losing weight.  On the one hand the gain in weight is making my back worse but on the other hand, not being able to be as active as I used to be is causing me to gain weight.  There has to be an  answer and I'm on the trail to find it.

Next comes my scrapping.   I have done maybe...4 layouts this year! That's disgusting and I want to fix it.   I love to scrap - not just the creative side of it but the social aspect as well.   So, I'm off to dear Wendy's on Friday to try and find my mojo again.  Hopefully, I will in time for the Remember When VSK Getaway over Cup weekend.

Last, but certainly  not least is  my  focus on loved ones - all of them.   It's easy to neglect family and friends when life is motoring along smoothly and  only turn to them when you hit the bumpy parts.   While I'm usually pretty good at keeping in contact, sometimes time just gets away so I'm thinking about ways to make sure I balance it a little better.

Nothing mind blowing there but I'm doing OK.

Am flat out atm working on collating surveys and photos from Paperific so don't really have much else to report.

Cheers

Not what they seem

Life is still an emotional rollercoaster but I've managed to get through two whole days (not consecutively though) with my eyes only misting and not full on bawling.    I've lost a couple of kilos but it is definitely fluid  loss from all the tears.

Situations like this really make me wonder just how much of what goes on around me is true and how much is 'put-on' for the benefit of others and maniplulating what we believe.

Found this (sort of) humourous clip on  You Tube (gotta find some way to divert my attention from my misery) which kind of supports my mind space atm

Initially, when this all happened, I had decided to defer the official start of my photography business but I've been given a great promotional opportunity at Paperific that has forced me to reevaluate and move at lightening speed into action or miss out.  I offered the opportunity to them after an inspiring phone call from the lovely Raylene who did more than she will ever know to boost my confidence and  make me realise that I don't have to actually become the 'reject' that I've been made to feel.   Thanks Rayles.

Anyway, Stacey, from Paperific thought my offer was of mutual benefit so it's full steam ahead.  Nothing like leaving everything until the last 2 weeks to push someone to the edge (or in my case, save someone from the edge).

While each day gets a little easier to manage, the evenings are still torture as this was when I spent most of my time with Alex.   It is hard to get my head around the necessary change in my routine...and address.  Alex and I are still talking and I don't know whether that makes it easier or harder.   We were best friends beyond everything else so I've copped a double whammy.   I thought that, maybe, we could remain friends as he wishes, but his trip home to Singapore (to face the music there) this weekend has revealed a whole other set of emotions and insecurities.   While it is difficult to imagine my life  without him in it - It is also difficult to imagine him in my life and not being allowed to love him...

I wish I knew the rules and that there were simple answers to my questions. 

My kids have been amazing through this all.   They are wonderful people and know how to get a smile out of their mum.  I knew there was a reason I love them so dearly.

For those of you who are going to Paperific next weekend, I might see you there.